Big Brother

Pokemon is starting to creep me out a bit. I’ve started watching TV’s that I find in random people’s houses (you know how it is in the Pokemon world; walk in, talk to them, completely unapologetic for inviting yourself in, steal any cool items they left lying around, leave), and I’ve discovered that there’s some mighty network of eagle-eyed camera-people tracking absolutely everything that happens in Sinnoh!

I’d been suspicious for a while – Hearthome City in particular is absolutely crammed with reporters waiting to ambush unsuspecting Pokemon trainers who’ve just talk their Psyduck for a walk, or made a Poffin, or gone to talk to the magic lady who knows how much your Pokemon like you (a rather bizarre ability unto itself), ask them for a ‘quick interview’ which swiftly descends into endless menu-searching for the perfect word to use to sum up wanting to give a serious answer, parody a bit and make it look good all at the same time. It’s difficult. But it’s cool because you get to see yourself on TV later on, in the exact same interview you’ve just participated in – how meta!

But where it gets a bit creepy is when you see things happen on TV that you certainly did do, but had no idea you were being observed at the time. I went and caught me a Drapion in the Great Marsh one time, and was then amazed to see the catch detailed on the television a while after, in all detail. Witnesses reported, it said, but I’m fairly certain I was the only one trekking through that particular pile of sludge at the time. I can only conclude that I was in fact being watched, by some unknown means. It’s not just that particular area, either; I’ve seen reports on the television of seemingly inconsequential acts by some of my homies in their Pokemon adventures; Sam making a pretty picture of his Palkia, Jun categorically failing to catch an unnamed Pokemon, Alex talking about how much he loves his Roserade.

These people are everywhere! They hide in the shadows – they cannot be seen, and I’ve scoured every corner of Sinnoh in search of stuff; no reporters hidden in dark passageways noting down your every move. In the absence of any sort of actual ruling government in the Pokemon world as a whole, I can only deduce that the world is governed by dint of watching.. always watching, observing the everything we do. It certainly explains why Jubilife City, home of Sinnoh’s News Network, is the most technology advanced city in the land, despite being surrounded by backwater towns, a town where the main attraction is a big field and another one where the gym leader has Onix and Geodude (I mean, seriously man, Brock barely managed to pull it off back in the day, it’s not impressive now).

There’s the problem, however, of how this creeping corporate technology managed to let Team Galactic slip through the net and almost destroy the universe. But of course Team Galactic were a big company; rather than hiding under gambling hovels like Team Rocket, they had a full on castle-like headquarters with spires and secret rooms and stuff; they probably paid off the sekrit government to drop records of their activities down the memory hole. And maybe that’s why I’m being watched now; I defeated Team Galactic and nicked Palkia for myself; they’re probably ready to throw me in the memory hole if I so much as make a move about trying to take over the world.

Alternatively perhaps it’s all a watchful trap to try and catch haxers in the act of haxing, so as to confiscate their eyeballs and murder their mothers. I think I my release that disgusting hax Arceus I got from Toby – and he’d better watch out, with his infinite money and item-spawn trickery; Big Brother is watching.

More evidence:

“They keep records of things like how many battles you’ve won in a row, or how many Pokemon you’ve caught.” – a woman inside Jubilife TV as good as admits they’ve got files on everyone

“Participation for all!” – Jubilife TV’s motto

~ by djordan on February 24, 2008.